Why do you want it?

People come up with goals for themselves all the time. Either they aren’t in line with their values and they lose motivation, they get to the goal and don’t see the results they want.

Goals can be a means to an end. Not the actual end. To illustrate this:

Let’s say that Person A and Person B both have set the goal of reading 4 hours every week. Sounds like the same goal, right? It has the same measureable specifications. BUT they could be completely different goals.

For instances, Person A may want to read more because she wanted to be more informed and have something to talk about at dinner parties.

Goal: Read 4 hours/week

Actual Goal: Be more informed and conversational at dinner parties.

Person B may want to read because it is a way to carve out alone time and recharge.

Goal: Read 4 hours/week

Actual goal: Spend time alone to re-energize.

In this case, the same goal brings serves the two different goals. When this is a problem is when the goal doesn’t give a desire result.

Why do you want what you want?

And is what you are doing getting you there?

Person C and Person D both want to have the goal to move to a Chicago. Person C wants to move to the new city to have new experiences. Since he is from L.A., Chicago will present all new adventures. Person D wants to move to a new city because they have made big lifestyle change and want to create a new social circle. After arriving in Chicago, she finds herself gravitating to the same type of people she hung around with in New York. So she is in a new city with the same old problem.

Person C

Goal: Move to Chicago

Actual goal: have new experiences

Person D

Goal: Move to Chicago

Actual Goal: Find a new type of social circle.

Person D demonstrates why it is important to be real clear what the actual goal is behind the goal.