I’ve been listening to the second season of StartUp (For StartUp fans, yes, I know I’m way behind!) The second season tracks the founders of Dating Ring, a new type of dating app that uses matchmakers to find qualified dating partners for their clients.
As I was listening to the show, it occurred to me that finding the right career is not so different from dating. You need to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the right one. No matter how much research you do in advance, there’s no guarantee it will work out for both parties.
In the age of social media, phone apps, and web-based services, dating and job searching is looking more and more similar. But that’s just logistics. It actually goes deeper than that.
In both scenarios, finding joy, fulfillment, and happiness starts with being clear on what you want and knowing what your own needs are. A gregarious social butterfly, isn’t going to be an ideal life partner if you are a shy homebody. And a coveted corner office isn’t going to make you happy if what you really want is a career that allows you to work from home.
My colleague Nancy Cava, an intimacy coach, encourages her clients to get clear on what intimacy and vulnerability means to them. Once they can do that, they are able to communicate their relationship needs and desires to their future romantic partners.
What would happen if you brought that level of honesty and soul searching to your career? What do you want and need from your professional life? It might be social connection, a sense of purpose, integrity, or fun and humor. You aren’t likely to see these qualities in a job description, but they are no less attainable than, say, two weeks of paid vacation and flex-time.
If you were looking for true love in your career, what would get you to swipe right?
FYI: Nancy is currently offering free Discover Your Desire sessions. Email her to schedule your free session.