Accepting What I’m Not Going to Change

I usually look forward to writing out my goals for the New Year. The past is the past, and now I can start fresh. The WHOLE year is in front of me. But this year I was a bit stuck. For the first time, I’m not quite sure what to set my eyes on because for the first time in many years, things are pretty good.
Good job
Good house
Good health
Good husband
Sure, I wish I was more fit and our mortgage was paid off, but both of those are more of a 30-year commitment than a year-end goal. I honestly want for nothing at the moment except things that will simply take time. But nevertheless, tradition is tradition, so I have once again pulled out two fresh index cards and written my Goals for 2025 on one and my Goals for January on the other.


But this year I’ve included an extra step in my process. Before scribbling out my list of desired achievements, I reflected on the things I’m not going to do even if I think I should. I’m letting go of goals and qualities that, for better or worse, I’m just not going to reach or embody. Maybe someday I’ll revisit them, but not in 2025.
For example, I am not someone who is going to have a regular yoga practice. Period. It’s been on my list for the last several years, but every year it doesn’t happen. And I’ve tried everything.
I’ve tried doing a super short routine before work (No accountability.) I’ve tried Yoga with Adrian (Too chatty. And why is her dog there?) I’ve tried joining a friend’s class. (Too far away to attend regularly.) I finally bought a 10-class pass at the yoga studio down the street where I love the instructor and the other people that go there. It's a beautiful space with lots of class times… and yet, I still have 7 classes left on my pass that I bought months ago.
This isn’t to say I won’t go to a class now and then. But I’m freeing myself from the delusion that I will find joy in maintaining a yoga practice. I didn't want to on Dec. 31, 2024, and wouldn’t you know? I wasn’t any more motivated on Jan 1, 2025. Bye-bye.
Cumulative effect of New Year’s Resolutions
If I’m honest with myself, I usually fall short of the goals I’ve listed on my goal cards, and I probably will this year too. I’ve never read 50 books in a single year and my coaching practice is still very much a side business. But I take solace in knowing I’m not alone.
If we are always falling short of our New Year’s aspirations, then what is the point? Why go through this fruitless exercise year after year?
When I remember the “good" things I listed above, I realize those are the results of many resolutions over the years. Goals that I set and maybe didn’t fully achieve at the time, but like coins in a jar, they added up so I could cash in on something bigger.
So if you are someone who partakes in New Year’s resolutions, maybe success comes from your approach and not what you check off your list. You can aim super high, knowing that you may not reach the goal, but you are building towards a larger long term achievement. Or you can be very honest with yourself and make a carefully crafted list that is truly realistic. Or you can just throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. It’s up to you.
On December 31, 2025, we can all pull out our lists and see what happened and make a new choice next year.
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again,
this time more intelligently.”
~ Henry Ford
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