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How do you work with the leadership you have when it’s not the leadership you want?


Image by Mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

In my career, I have had all kinds of bosses. There have been ones I have I’ve respected but not liked very much, and others that I’ve liked, but not respected. I’ve had leaders that I try to emulate and leaders I don’t want to be anything like.


It’s always fortunate when we have a leader that represents our values and goals. When we don’t have that, it can make just showing up everyday a challenge. So what do you do when you don’t have the leadership you want?


Figure out what you have power over. 

When you fix your sights on what you can’t control, your brain will start to scan for all the other things that are beyond your control. But this also works in reverse. Concentrate on things that are within your power. 


Action step: Make a list of what you have control over. (Your decision to keep going to work, how you treat your co-workers, what you do when you are not at work….)


Remember your values.

Spending significant time (say, 40 hours a week) around someone with a completely different outlook on life can be crazy-making. It’s easy to start to question yourself or just feel like you’ve stepped through the looking-glass. But if you are grounded in your values and beliefs, it gives you a reference point to return to when you need to make decisions or figure out how to respond to what’s happening around you.


Action step: Write your top three values  on on an index card and keep them close by.


Find someone to talk to.

The simple act of expressing our problems aloud to another person can be incredibly helpful, and finding the right person to do that with is even better. It could be a therapist, a life coach, a friend or a family member. 


Action step: Who do you know with these qualities? 1) Removed from the situation, 2) focused on your best interests, and 3) supportive in helping you make choices for yourself.


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