I’m changing my situationship with my phone

Last summer I came across a little paperback titled How To Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price. Intrigued, I read the first few pages, which are the author’s “Dear John” letter to her phone. I was inspired and thought, “Oh, I should definitely read this book,” and put it on my desk where it sat unopened for two months. Finally, for a number of reasons, I felt compelled to pick it up again.

After her break up letter, Price spends the first half of the book sharing all the research and data about the impact our smart phones are having on our physical, emotional, and mental health. She describes the ways they are reducing our attention spans, increasing our anxiety, and acting as a perfect avoidance tool when we need to escape.

Thankfully, the second half is her 30-day plan for breaking up with your phone, or more accurately creating a healthier relationship with our devices.

The first few days are simple steps that include tracking how much you use your phone, noticing when and why you reach for your device, and journaling about what you’ve discovered. Incrementally, you build up to a 24-hour sabbath.

In my case it ended up being a 70-day plan with lots of skipped days and playing hooky. I also bypassed the sabbath. BUT! I’m proud to say I made a few permanent changes that have had a larger impact than I expected. It was also a lot easier than I thought I would be. 

Here is what I’ve changed:

#1 Moved my phone’s charger to the kitchen. This has prevented me from checking my phone immediately before bed and first things in the morning. There are days especially on the weekend where an hour goes by before I check my phone.

#2 Removed social media apps from my phone. I still have access to Facebook and Instagram on my phone, but I need to log in through the browser, which is clunkier and less “sticky” as they say. Once I’ve checked my notifications, I tend to put my phone down and move on to something else. I’m significantly less likely to doom scroll.

#3 Rearranged and decluttered my apps. The apps that I’m most likely to get sucked into are organized into folders and not on the home screen, so there is a lot of swiping involved to get to them. Only the unsticky apps are on my home screen, such as the weather, clock, maps, calendar, and meditation app.

Here is what I’m practicing (but not perfect at):

#1 Not touching my phone in the car. I rarely text or talk on the phone while driving, but I am guilty of cueing up podcasts or searching for music. I’m making a better effort to keep my phone out of reach and instead turn on the radio or sometimes I ride in silence! [Gasp!]

#2 Not bringing my phone into a store or restaurant unless I need it. NEWSFLASH! I’ve discovered it won’t kill me to just be with my own thoughts when I’m shopping or standing in line. If anything, I’m more efficient.

Here’s the impact I’ve noticed and experienced:

• On Christmas Eve, I was driving to an appointment 25 minutes away and instead of reaching for my phone, I decided to turn on the radio. It was a familiar voice reading a short Christmas story by Truman Capote. Just as I pulled up to my appointment the radio host came on and confirmed that it was an actor I knew from Nantucket! I never would have had this surprise with a curated podcast play list.

• I was waiting to pick up our Friday night Chinese food and instead of staring down at my phone, I just sat and people watched. I discovered that the frame 8x10 pictures they have hung up throughout the restaurant are in fact pictures their kids drew. It was a glimpse into the lives of this family I see once a week.

• I don’t find much enjoyment scrolling on my phone, especially at night, and I don’t reach for it in the morning unless I really need it for something. And if I feel compelled to check social media, the hassle of drilling down into the fold and opening the site is enough to deter me. 

There are lots more great tips and strategies in the book depending on what is challenging you. For me, it feels like my phone is once again a tool to use for my benefit instead of an appendage which I’m at the mercy of.