What do you do when the end is inevitable?

Image by Eliza from Pixabay

Here we are once again, wondering just where the year went. How is it already December? It got me thinking about endings and, more specifically, endings that we know are coming, but are inevitable none-the-less. The end of a season, end of a career (retirement), end of a relationship.

Sudden endings can be disruptive, overwhelming and sometimes traumatic. But they can also be a psychological “Get Out Of Jail Free” card.  There is no time to process or fret about the finality of the situation. It’s just over. Boom. What’s next?

When we know an ending is coming, then we have the opportunity (or misfortune) of deciding what we want to do before it arrives. Some people choose “denial” and pretend the end is sudden and unforeseeable, but they are likely the only one fooled by this interpretation.

For the rest of us not living down by the river in Egypt, we have some agency in how we want to experience the approaching end. Are you excited about what’s next? Or do you worry about all the things that may not get done in time? Do you feel a burst of motivation like a runner sprinting towards the finish line? Or do you feel paralyzed by the approaching deadline?

I don’t have an abundant coffer of advice, but here are a few philosophical and practical questions I’ve been asking myself as January 1 approaches:

Philosophical questions:

• How have your priorities changed as the end grows nigh?

• What do you want to remember about this time?

• What had you hoped to do/have/be that you are willing to let go of?

• What do you need to do/feel/have to reach closure?

• What increases your anxiety about endings?

• What decreases your anxiety about endings?

Practical questions:

• What is your deadline?

• What is still left on your “to-do” list?

• How would you prioritize that list?

• How realistic is each item on your list and does it fit into your schedule?

• Which items can be removed or left unfinished?

• What support, tools or resources do you need?

Instead of falling back on the simple cliche that says every ending is a new beginning, how can you use the time before an ending more thoughtfully?