Whose voice are you listening to? Are you sure it is yours?

I was fortunate enough to get invited for a weekend trip to Martha’s Vineyard this summer and on a morning walk, I saw this quote outside the Unitarian Church. 

“I never learned anything from hearing myself talk.”

~ Robert Mitchum

I understand the intention, but I think we can learn something from listening to ourselves talk. The challenge is making sure we are truly listening to ourselves.

When you look at where you are in your career, how did you get here? Why do you stay? When you contemplate making a change, whose voice are you listening to? Your inner critic? Your friends? Advice you heard on a podcast? A conversation you overheard at a restaurant? 

Is the “inner voice” you are listening to really yours, or is it a manifestation of social expectations, family pressure, fears and “I shoulds” that have been filtered through your brain and repackaged as if it’s your own?

When we channel other voices that drown out our own intuition and interests, we end up in careers and jobs that reflect someone else’s expectations instead of our own. 

Whether you are pondering a career change or not, here are a few ways to do an “identity check” on your inner voice.

• What tasks and activities do I enjoy most/least in my work?

  • What do you like/dislike about these tasks?

  • How do you feel when you do them? 

• Which people are my favorite/least favorite co-workers/clients/customers?

  • What do you like/dislike about them? 

  • How do they make your job better/worse?

• What are your priorities for your career? 

  • Building financial security

  • Networking and developing relationships

  • Growing personally and professionally

  • Contributing to the community/world

Now, it’s time to be honest with yourself:

• If you weren’t making money, would you keep doing this job?

• What would it be like to have all the positive qualities you listed above in one job?

• Where do you see yourself in 5 years if you stay where you are? Where do you want to be in five years? Are these answers the same?

What if my job and my desires are not in sync?

You might realize after answering these questions that your job is not completely in lock-step with what you want. If so, you have to decide what to do about it. 

Maybe you do nothing. As I’ve written before, a career doesn’t need to be (and probably shouldn’t be) a person’s entire identity. There is no shame in choosing a career that is “good enough” and meets your needs.

If “good enough” is not enough for you, then you need to decide if you have the appetite for a career transition. Every change comes with some risk. Even after signing a contract, one never knows what it will be like when they walk in on day one.

If “good enough” is not enough, and you are ready to make a change, then it’s time to start your expedition to find your next career opportunity. But just because you have rediscovered your inner voice, doesn’t mean that’s the only one you need to listen to.

• Talk with your friends and family

• Join networking groups

• Call a career coach (eh em!)

• Reach out to people on LinkedIn who have careers you aspire to

All the while, continue to be vigilant that the inner voice you are listening to is your own.